A Bottle

I can't count the times I waited by the door,
I can't count the times I heard you say I promise.
I can't count the times my tears hit the floor.
All those years believing things would change,
All those times I thought you would finally see,
So many times I thought you actually would change.
So many times I thought it was because of me.
I will never understand why it had to be this way,
I will never understand why I was never good enough for your time, I will never understand why it had to be this way.
I never expected anything not one dime.
All I ever wanted was to get to know you,
But every time we started to get close you would disappear and hide,
What more do I have to do?
I never asked you to pick a side.
I always knew how it would end,
And now that I have I finally know where I stand,
That kind of heart break cannot be amend.
You are just a stranger who I do not trust enough to even shake my hand.
All those years ahead I will not wait by the door,
I will not count the times you promise.
I will not let my tears hit the floor. 
I will always believe things will change,
Maybe one day you will finally see,
Maybe one day you will actually change.
And now I know it isn't me, it is a disease and maybe one day you will not pick the bottle over me.