A Childhood Taken

A childhood taken

Let's reminisce of time long ago.
When a young child of only four years old.
She would walk through the path between the two houses.
Sent there as she scurried like a mouse.
She was so very young.
Anxiously awaiting the cookies that would come.
Freshly baked, oh so yum!
No understanding of the games he wanted to play.
She still can't understand why, even this day.
She wore the dresses her mother had made.
A fashion show in his basement. At times afraid.
But those cookies waited, so the child stayed.
She spun around and she would sing.
A child's innocent voice would ring.
She never cried, his hands would move her long hair.
Her neck now bare.
He would slowly run a finger along her skin.
Lifting her dress wanting to penetrate therein.

She did not know anything different.
She was important to him, she was significant.
Her sisters were far to old,
Had the child known, she would have told. But not a squeak,
"our secret" he would say, 
so meek.
Her parents never stopped her from going, they would always say go.
This little girl, if only she could have said no.
Up onto his lap she would sit.
After the dances she performed, she was a hit.
He would hug her and kiss her upon her cheek.
His hands would wander, she'd  never speak.
She didn't know at age of four.
That as she grew, his desires would soar.

At ages five and six.
He would find new tricks.
These games became more and more.
Her secret, their secret, this child bore.
His fingers always playing in her hair.
He would look at her, in his basement. He would look.... there.
She did not know.....
She had nowhere to go...
She carried this secret all alone.
Whilst at the table with her family at home.
Her own father wouldn't touch her at all.
His baby she was afterall. But to her mother, she was her doll.
Being groomed and shown things she shouldn't have seen.
Memories of these times in childhood flash. Always obscene.

Seeing the blue headed snake.
The girl, age of eight.
She began to realize something wasn't right.
She was still to small, groomed, she couldn't fight.

Her parents wondered why she no longer went.
Even though there she would be sent.
Across his yard she would run.
To her friends on the other street to have fun.
The older she became, she would often submit.
To the point of feeling this was it.
That was who she was to become.
A young woman, she had to please everyone.

You had never gone to prison.
You had never done hard time.
Now your dead, without punishment.
This woman now has such resentment.
She still aches to often please.
No matter what fashion,
This feeling , she cannot appease.
She often worries she has done wrong.
That little girls voice rings in her ear. Oh so strong.
You took her will away.
Those cookies are what made her stay.
A trap you set, that even to this day.
She feels the need to please, in any way.

At age 42, now a mom and a grandmother.
She went to every length to protect her own, her sons and daughter.
She would kill for them if ever this would happen.
Her mind and soul would blacken.
A force to be reckoned with,
A mother with a past,
this is no myth!
Because of him and a few others after.
Her life was a big disaster.
However;
She grew stronger although
she still pleases and serves.
She can say she protected them, she observed.
She is now married to a wonderful man.
One who doesn't totally understand.
Only because herpast is just that.
So she keeps it under wrap.
She is who she is
because of all of this.
Stronger, determined, not amiss.
She angers easily when she hears tales
Of other children, pasts entails.

We all deal in our own way.
But the last thing she will say.
Is letting go of what was is key.
To beginning to heal, do you see?
If you hold on to what took place.
Then you are stuck in the past, misplaced.
Let go, let go.... fear no more.
Let those feeling go out the door.
Allow yourself to recover and rediscover who YOU are meant to be.
A human with compassion and create fond memories.