A meaning

Something has a meaning, when a simple object like a table becomes a reason to cry, because of the memories that it holds.
Something has a meaning when a simple word like house, touches you heart in places it wasn’t touched before.
Something has a meaning when a simple word like mom, makes you smile and feel save.
It lost its meaning, mom.
But did it really,
Because maybe, just maybe, it was never even there.
But its easier to believe that it was not always like this.
It’s easier to believe that I was the daughter you hoped for.
But maybe just a disappointment from the start.
Meaning.
The one thing that makes life the way it is.
The thing that makes our heart beat a little bit faster.
Gone.
What is the meaning of mother supposed to be?
The feeling of safety, of being loved unconditionally.
A mother is not supposed to let go.
A mother is supposed to love until there are no stars in the universe left.
You weren’t supposed to take them.
Meaning.
My closed eyes never knew what the real world held.
My closed eyes heard what was told and the meaning your name once held stayed.
But my eyes opened.
They had to.
And the reality that was kept from me, became my biggest fear.
All I had from you was just an image.
An image of a beautiful lie.
Now my eyes see the painful truth.
That the meaning of a mother.
The one you once carried.
Is gone.
The meaning of mom.
A star,
Forever to be lost.