A picture of her

I came home from work this evening
And saw her doing the dishes in the sink
and on the table was our dinner
With two tall glasses of red wine 

I hug her from behind and kiss her neck
And said umm you taste so good " I love you 
And she said " omg" I didn’t even shower as yet
But thank you and " I love you too

Then we kiss for what seems like forever
And neither of us wanted to stop
Then she said " ok mister. “I will take a shower now
And she smiled and handed me the kitchen mop

So I mopped the floor and take out the trash
And with a wicked smile on my face I join her in the shower
And when she came down stairs for dinner
She was wearing a red dress with white and black flowers

While we eat that night " we talk about our day
Then she told me about a trip to Paris
That her job is sending her on
And she really wanted my advice on this

She always wanted to go to France
And we planned to go for our anniversary next year
She always wanted to stand on the Eiffel tower
And feel the wind blowing through her hair

So I told her" you should to go and have some fun
you work very hard and you deserve to be on that flight
And though I will miss you so much
I will just hug my pillow and think of you every night

So she was on the plane to Paris
on the following weekend
And we kiss and hug at the airport and said bye
And I stood there missing her already
Looking as the plane disappears in the sky

We talked every day and night on the phone
 I would go to work and she would always be on my mind
and our queen size bed seems so big and lonely now
Because I was missing her all of the time

I would avoid the bed and fall asleep on the sofa
Watching the "blacklist on Netflix
Its a NBC TV series that will have you on the edge wondering 
What reddinton and lizzie would do next

She was to leave Paris in two days on Sunday
so she and her colleagues went for breakfast that Friday
I was at work when my friend tom ask me if I see the news
that there was a terrorist attack on a Paris cafe 

In the news they said some were Americans were amongst the victims
And later they will confirm the identities to all
I leave work to go home and kept calling her
But she didn’t answer when I called

I become restless and didn’t know what to do
This can’t be happening, this can’t be true
These is the things you see on the news 
You never expect this to be happening to you

I was worried and fear was now crippling my every move
Its the same cafe she told me she was going to
And then I saw outside my window all the news stations 
was in front my door saying that she was one of the victims too

I just fall on my knees with tears rolling down my face
And I died inside, I died together with the love of my life
My heaven on earth my angel my beautiful angel
My best friend my rock my loving wife

She’s now gone now for no reason
they took her away from me for no reason
And I didn’t want to live again
But I had to keep on breathing although I was dead inside 

I was so full of hate and anger
And there's was nothing “nothing that I could do but cry
She was laid rest today under a big Apple tree
On a cool sunny day with white clouds under a blue sky 

On her tomb stone these words were carved
I promise to dream of you every night
From this day and until the end of time
I promise to speak to you every night before I sleep
Even if your ears are not there to hear my words
I love you and I will love you forever

And I have to live with the guilt of knowing it’s my fault
Because I didn’t want her to go, but I didn’t ask her to stay
And if had really tell her how I felt
Then she would have still been here with me today 

I quit my job after because life now had no meaning
She was the reason I was alive, the reason I was born
She was my everything in this world
And now my everything is gone
  
I played the music that we use to listen to
And I would hug her clothes and cried with every song
 the songs we use to laugh with and sing along together
to comfort her when her day was going wrong

But when she really needed me the most
I wasn't there for her
 I wasn’t there to stand in front of the gun 
in front of the gun that take her away from me

There was nothing here in New York for me again
And I lose interest in all of my ambition’s without her
My fairy tale love story romance
Has become a living horror of unsolved mysteries

So I move back to Trinidad 
And I will just drink my life way
I know she won’t want me to live like this
But it’s my fast track to going her in heaven one day

Today I sit here under a coconut tree in maracas 
overlooking the sea next to a weathered old tent on the sand
with no home, and no life to go back to
I’m just sad lost man without a destination
  
I know she would want me to be happy
But it’s all over now. there’s nothing left for this heartbroken man
And one day they will find my lifeless body
clutching on to a picture of her in my handsA