A Pug's Life

A Children's Ballad
...for a very special birthday boy

There is a town not far from here
called Stercus-on-the-Loo
Where lives a pup with small black ears
his name is Puggy-Poo.

Next door to him, lives Gerry-Boo
A young, but tall, giraffe
His neck is long and spotted too
and this makes Puggy laugh.

These two were never best of friends
They never shared their toys
They never played till evening’s end
with other girls and boys.

For Puggy was a cheeky pug
whom Gerry didn’t like.
And Gerry could be more than smug
whilst riding on his bike.

They never spoke to one another
Though living side by side.
But each boy dearly loved his mother
And each was Mamma’s Pride.

Now Puggy had a strange obsession
It filled his puppy’s mind
He dearly loved his swimming sessions
and pools of every kind.

The dearest wish of Puggy-Poo
His mother had forbade
To swim across the River Loo
without a friend or aid.

But Puggy was a wilful pup
Despite his Mamma’s rule
And so one morning, he got up
but didn’t go to school.

Instead, he walked along the bank
in shorts and swimming cap
and jumped right in; he didn’t think!
The silly little chap!!

At first he swam a good way out
Paws kicking at the double
But then, in fear, he gave a shout
He knew he was in trouble!!

The river was so fast and cold
not like the swimming pool.
The pug wished he’d not been so bold
and had just gone to school.

The River Loo smelled just like rot
Which nobody could drink.
But Puggy’d leapt in without thought
and soon began to sink.

So as his blood began to cool
He called one final, “Help!”
And Gerry ~ on his bike to school ~
Could hear poor Puggy’s yelp.

As Gerry called, in great alarm,
“There’s no-one I can tell!”
He saw wee Puggy’s flailing arms
above the river's swell.

But Gerry was a tall giraffe
with long and spotted neck
He couldn’t see a nearby raft
And so he cried, “Oh heck!!

“The River Loo is fast and deep
but it’s not all that wide!”
So Gerry-Boo began to creep
down to the riverside.

And once he reached the water’s edge
He saw the drowning pug:-
He stretched his head out from the ledge
And plucked him with a tug.

He tossed poor Puggy on the bank
and sighed with great relief.
As Puggy cried, “Oh thank you ~ thanks! ~
your necked just saved my life!!”

So both these boys now share their toys
His mother, each attends
A happy playtime each enjoys
now that they’re best of friends.