A very smart puppy

I am going to tell you a story
About a very smart puppy
And this is a very serious matter
So, don’t start laughing at me

Although it may sound funny
But I am very serious
You won't believe that a little puppy
Can be so conniving and devious

It all started last Sunday
When I and my sweetheart was getting lovey-dovey
And after when we lay down breathing
She drops this question on me

My sweetheart told me
That she wanted a pet
And at first, I was very skeptic
Because we just spend $1500 on a new carpet

But what my baby wants
You know my baby will get
But soon as this puppy comes home
It was a mistake that I would learn to regret

I could swear that is poppy
Went to college and have a PhD
Because as soon as we bring it home
This puppy started to outsmart me

I reheat a nice juicy steak from the fridge
And just turn my back for one minute
 And when I came back with a glass of orange soda
I see a puppy on the table eating it

And when I complained to my sweetheart
She said “OH puppy hungry ‘OMG how cute
Then she tells me to go and eat a cheese sandwich
And leave puppy alone you wicked brute

Well I got so mad, I went on the front steep
With my bread and cheese with a Carib beer
While puppy watching from the window
Skinning his teeth and wagging his tail in the air

Later I and my baby make up
And having a little lovemaking that night
And things were going really nice
Until puppy grab my toe and start to bite

He bites so hard that I started to bawl
I jump off the bed and went to the bathroom so I won't bleed on the carpet
But when I come back the puppy is on the bed with, she
And she said “look how puppy looking sad”
What did you do to make him upset?

 Boy “the F word reach right on my lips
But it just didn’t come out this time
When I tell you, that this is a smart puppy?
I say it without a single doubt in the mind

He fooling my girlfriend
But I will get the little sucker in time
Even if I have to hire ace Ventura
To investigate this little puppy life of crime

I suspect that he is an alien
From another galaxy
And his main mission on earth
Is to break up my girlfriend and me

And puppy grinning and watching me
With that wicked look in his eyes
He just pretending to be cute
And fooling her with his tricks and lie

he gets away with a murder she wrote
you won’t believe what this wicked puppy do
this morning I had to stay home from work
because puppy did his mess inside my shoe

and when I tell my girlfriend she didn’t give puppy any blame
she told me to leave the poor puppy alone
and said I should’ve walked him out last night
instead of watching the game of thrones
 
puppy eat my steak
puppy mess inside my shoe
people say this puppy is a little dog
but I say this puppy is smarter than me and you

When I came home from work
She said take off your shoes at the door
But then I wet my socks
Because of puppy peeped on the floor

And before I could drink a beer
I have to walk puppy down the avenue
And I have to stand and watch as the puppy gets praise
By everyone one, we ran into

Yes, this puppy is driving me nuts
And I can’t stand him one more day
So, went home and told my sweetheart
I going by my mother house to stay

It's either me or the puppy
Figure out which one to lose
And pack my PlayStation 4
And said baby you have to choose

Then I walk out the door
But I forget my VR headset
But when I come back inside
I saw her sitting and crying on the carpet

And I kiss her
Like we never kiss before
And then we went to the bedroom
And when I see puppy coming, I close the door

And we went sailing on cloud nine
And around the world too
While still laying on our bed
Up up and away we flew

Then I told her I love her
And how I'm really sorry
She said that she loves me too
And me, she and puppy become a family