Absolution

A quiet walk on a cold winter night
The stars above, shining bright
Fresh fallen snow beneath my feet
My soul and my conscience finally meet.
 
I ask for forgiveness for what I’ve done
Though I fear that I may truly deserve none
For all the suffering, that day that I wrought
Upon the men that I tortured with not a second thought.
 
I try to forget the past and just live each day
But while the memories fade, the nightmares stay
They visit me each night as I try to sleep
The terror I once sowed, I now reap.
 
I see the faces as clear as day
I beg them to leave, but alas, they stay
Deformed and covered in rotting flesh
Trapped within a concrete mesh.
  
That day I came upon them while scouting ahead
At first I wasn’t sure if they were alive or dead
No one else knew what I had found
Injured and dying men trapped underground.
 
Iraqi soldiers caught unaware
As a bunker buster bomb destroyed their lair.
Reinforced concrete and layers of steel
Pushed aside like a banana peel
 
Iraqis are barbarians that kill with impunity
I couldn't believe I had stumbled upon this opportunity.
I would take revenge for Saddam’s senseless crime
And deep within this sepulcher, I would take my time.
 
I was logical and prudent yet not fully sane
My thoughts were clouded with anger and pain
An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth
A discipline I’ve lived ever since my youth.
 
Though buried alive by a falling bomb
The trapped soldiers displayed an eerie calm
Perhaps they knew what their future would hold
For even as I approached, they tried to be bold.
 
With my blade in hand, my intentions were clear
Throats would be slashed from ear to ear.
These men would be delivered to Death’s evil thrall
As, one by one, I murdered them all.
 
The knife’s steely blade sliced though skin
And tore the muscle and sinew within.
As I tortured these men, I was filled with rage
A fury so intense, only violence would assuage.
 
17 souls delivered by my hand
Either to Hell or to the Promised Land
Whither they go, I simply did not care
I desecrated them all before they got there.
 
I mutilated the bodies, and then went on my way
And never said a word; there was nothing to say
Not a single soul knew what I did that night
So I never felt remorse and was never contrite.
 
Although years later, and still no one would know
Yet a repentant feeling inside me began to grow
Without atonement, I am no better than they
So I prayed to God to show me the way.
 
I committed the most egregious sin known to man
To atone for this transgression, I’ll do all I can
I read each and every night from the good book
But I can’t bring back the lives that I took.
 
I’ll be a good man henceforth from this day
And my abnegation of violence will never sway
My commitment is strong and so is my faith
Despite the nightly appearance of the spectral wraith
 
I suffer the nightmares each and every night
But I deservedly endure this woeful plight.
The phantoms will haunt me until the end of my time
But it is a minuscule punishment for my heinous crime.
 
Though deathly afraid, I sleep safely in bed
The door closed tightly, blankets over my head.
Despite the tremendous guilt that I derive
I awake each morning and thank God I’m alive.