Actor or Audience

I close the door,
Seeing a familiar face,
Hearing a common hey,
I turn to see a friend,
A gust of wind fills my heart,
Curiosity fills my head,
My friend pulls a screen machine out,
Embarrassment fills me,
Along with a happy familiarity,
Smiling faces and laughs warm my heart,
I sit with a shuddering rush,
A rush of anxiety,
I see a long wooden table,
More seats fill my eyesight,
I pass a ten to my captain,
Full of joy and achievement,
To help with a thank you,
A guy catches my guy,
Staring changed to gossip,
I begin a natural natural sequence,
Like a program,
I spoke without thinking,
Just my memory is speaking,
Meals spoken,
Drinks prepared,
I sit once again,
My ears listen,
My mouth laughs when required,
My mouth is in awe when needed,
I slip into a store,
Distance consumes me willing in thought.