Addiction

This addiction I'm addicted to is writing rhymes when I'm missing you. I know you want it to, like sticky glue I'm picking you straight sticking to you cuz my addiction is, I'm addicted to you.

    Baby my life is full of scars in my brain from smoking shards everyday getting harder everyday trying to barter everyday just to send you messages everyday in anyway that I can. You think it's easy being a man? When the cops came, do you know why I ran? Cuz going to jail zero bail zero mail wasn't the plan but instead hugging you, loving you, rubbing you trying to be a man for you trying to do what I can for you with a D.O.C. felony warrant out for me not for you, I'm crazy over you! Let's get back to my addiction, I'm addicted to you.

     It's gonna get better, well at least in this letter it is why? Because if it wasn't for my guy I'd just sit and cry, wishing I'd die but it seems like hes keeping me alive while I stress hard at night cuz I got no reply. My girl didn't press 6 every time I called I woulda just balled my eyes out which is usually not allowed in here where fear is considered weak you better not leak a tear or you can just push the button and get the fuck up outta here. But I'm still here facing 3 years I thought you'd stick with me but why do I feel your un-sticking not sticking to me. Slowly falling off, I feel like I'm being robbed, without you everything I ever loved is gone, cuz I'm gone? Where is god? Well like my kid, he's gone and I'm just being real.

     I'm not trying to hate on quote "our creator" but he's not here either. No dis respect to the readers of this if your a believer I could see why you'd be pissed but really I can care less, so lets try to get back to the reason why I'm writing about addiction for no reason, or why my hearts supposed to be pumping blood but instead it's bleeding like my knees bleeding form kneeing from needing help but not seeing I'm dealt being beat with belts cant go to school with welts cuz there afraid I'll tell, well, can you blame me? Fuck it, Kill me, take a picture and frame me! I'm ashamed I was ever anybody's baby. I mean am i going crazy? maybe it's because lately I'm back to not giving a fuck, I don't believe my luck ,but I'm forced to with no remorse or course I just keep writing of course sitting in jail eating the pourage we get every mourning whether my cellys snoring, it don't matter anymore because I'm being filled with hate to the moment I snap and break, "like taking the juice away I used to pour in my cake", pretty soon it's gonna be to late to bring back the man that woulda done anything for your ass but rape. I just gotta give thanks to Hate for putting of with me as I'm stressing "G", cuz obviously without mu bitch I seem a little wobbly, wobbling around, I swear he know's everything I mean without having to explain anything.

     I wanna flip out N trip out but I'm stuck here with my dick out as my bitch rips out and dips out with my heart thats scared now, It's hard when your straight blinded from the outside, but reminded by thoughts that are rewinded and re played everyday, I cant get away cuz praying doesn't work so fuck the jerk that said it would or said it would change my life, instead I struggle just to stay alive and not cry cuz nobody gives a fuck about Ty, Thats why I'm holding on so tight to this girl I've been trying to find my whole life, I'm just glad I didn't kill myself with thoughs knifes or am I?

     I really don't know but I hope my pain in this shows, from the highs and lows to the blankets we use as pillows this addiction I'm addicted to is feeling these flows even when nobody knows if , when, or how the story may go, you may be told some day when your old that your dad didn't make it cuz he couldn't take it no mo. now thats just real, your dad couldn't heal without you! Now to the woman he dated and married to make you, I swear I don't hate you! It's just hard to be free! I mean, will they ever release me? The system is like a diease like Cancer and H.I.V till your deceased trapped by the ultimate gang of police that does the governments dirty deeds, till they feed us full of "diseasus" never release us, I mean where is Jesus? They say he died to free us? But really I think He committed treason, the reason is because he couldn't free us, He couldnt be us, He escaped back to the safety of the heavenly gates where he could watch people in pain, dieing everyday, woman getting raped to kids taken away... You ask me... God isn't real and Jesus is fake ... so to the pencil that helped me write this,... Thanks.