all the light that tricks moths
she said I was strange and quite
far from the norm as I question a
god and I do not conform
IΒ cannot
be at ease with alive and dead
games, I perceive no realΒ
goodness, absorb only pain,
every
mouse in a trap, every creature
that dies, every flower that rots
all the light that tricks moths
every
startling scream, each vibration
of fright, all the terror at play in
the curtain of night
so
I stand me alone as most others
turn blind, to the pure simple fact
that 'our' god is not kind
and so
if I offend thee for thinking out
loud or for failing to stand with
the 'god loves us crowd'
I can
only restate that alive and dead
games only fill me with horror
and harrowing pain
and if
this is the kindest of god's we
can find, then I don't think I'm
strange to back off for a while
Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β ~ to thinkΒ ~
M ~
Β
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incredible ink my friend
Thankyou always for your kindness Lisa...hugs x
Heavenly Father loves everyone, and is pleased as we question His creations! but this is a fallen world that has been givenΒ and allowed to choose our direction, but not the consequences. We all make poor choices, but He sent prophets that most rejected and even stoned, so He sent His Son to atone for our poor choices " Him crucified" so that we, and all creatures have a chance to repent! great write Marion! hugs!.......................................................Jim
On days I believe this ...other days I do not Jim. Sometimes the skin of this life slips away and all I see is maggots and rot. The bit about Jesus on the cross?...I never ever understood that. I'm just experiencing...a lost period?...musing things over through writing...but don't worry...I'm not running with the devil lol.. I am also a very spiritual person. And now to thank you for your kind, wise, indepth and much appreciated comment...hugs to you lovely man x
Hello Marion...
You're not strange...
ββββββNot everyone believes...
Not everyone has seen a miracle or a sign or a blessing that came from beyond...
It's easy to understand...
If you've never been close to death where only the hand of God can lift you out...
If you don't believe because, you prayed and you didn't like the answer...
We all eventually end up in a spot that the only thing we find ourselves doing is yelling please God save me or them or whatever, and I will do anything you ask...
ββββββSometimes, all we have to do is think and wonder how was I able to do that?
Sometimes, we don't believe and we don't get any results...
That's ok...
Because, not everyone is called His child...
I tried to hide, run, did things I wasn't proud of just get away from the possibility I belonged to God...
I wanted to run and play with the Devil because, he was a lot more fun and I believed God was boring and I could never be that good...
The day I realized I didn't have a choice like I thought...
I was down hard and low and one more step down I would probably have been dead...
I gave in and here I am defying all the Doctors, and I realized I was in big trouble when I had received a testimony and I was asked to share it with the Congregation multiple times after I started going back to Church, voluntarily...
βββ
I had told the Bishop through some answers to questions he asked...
I didn't know it was a set up, I was always told whatever I do, don't lie especially, to a leader person of a Church...
Knowing I wasn't a good liar anyway, even though some people acted like I was telling the truth what else could I do but, tell the truth?
I kept my testimony short even leaving out some parts, I got a lump in my throat and I guess it came through my voice and I looked up from my notes that I used to help me stay on track because, standing in front of a group of people whose all eyes were on me and the silence was so deafening I was hoping for a pin to drop, someone sneeze, laugh, cough, a baby cry, anything at all...
Not a sound...
I was feeling unsteady, uneasy, and nervous as hell..
Then I finished and in my mind I was sitting back down but, I hadn't moved a step...
People were passing the boxes of tissues at the end of each pew to anyone in that row who needed one...
I wondered if there was just a few tissues in each box because, people were asking for another box...
I really don't know how many people were there that day...
I wasn't going to think about that at all...
The building was huge and people were standing because, there was enough room to sit...
I remember people had chairs lined across and against the wall...
I saw a few people who weren't crying...
It was later they told me they cried and by the time my eyes focused on them they had already wiped theirs eyes and put their tissue away just in case they needed it again...
We were all glad in that moment I was done...
I went back a few more times but, then it just got really weird and they believed I was a Prophet or something...
No, no, no....
That freaked me out...
You don't want close to the experiences I've had in my life...
God took my menace out of me because, I was really having a wonderful time when I didn't believe...
ββββI was Hell bound and on my way...
It was years later when sparrowsong appeared...
When I found Cosmofunnel by accident...
Great write!
Thank you for sharing...
sparrowsong
Β
Your comment amazes me in its truth, depth and clarity Sparrowsong. Your story is wonderful to read love and I am so glad you found a positive outcome for your life...it is uplifting to read and I thank you for the privilege. As I said to Jim above, I'm just working through my confusion in writing, I am a deeply spiritual person..there is more to us without doubt...I just question mainstream views that's all...many thanks and hugs to you my friend x
Lost for words .. for once .. but very cool x
Thanks so much Nev x
you are so bloomin welcome M :) xΒ
A squillion stars awarded. I LOVE this. What it says. The way it flows. The speed it travels. If poetry feeds the soul, then this is one satisfying meal of a poem. Thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Yum!
Hugs x
Thankyou zillions Tina...and...it's a non fattening product...bingo!! ππ
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