Anorexic

I flushed the toilet and watched my lunch spiral until it disappeared
I wiped my mouth with some toilet paper 
I knew that there was more food in my stomach,
But I needed to catch my breath

Leaning my body forward,
I shoved two fingers into my throat
I begin to gag while my eyes begin to water,
but but I didn't stop

Saliva began to drip from my mouth
my head swung down to release what was left in my stomach into the toilet 

I flushed the toilet a second time and exited the stall 
Looking at myself in the mirror,
I saw the dark bags under my eyes
Mascara was running, making them look worse

I'm currently 5'4 and 117Ibs.
The 'bigger "girls say they wish they were skinny like me
The "normal" sized girls say I'm "too skinny"

2 years ago, I was 180Ibs 
Everyone said I was "too big" then
It's like no matter what, I'm just not enough

I wiped away the mascara and put on my fake smile
The bell rang and I quickly left the bathroom to go to class
It was time to smile like nothing had happened,
The usual for me