Another Attempt

(Funny how I know what I wanna say...but struggle to say it to my satisfaction. I can't put my words together the way I usually do, with excellence, beauty and full impact. And it's always when I think about you...but once again I welcome the challenge.)

Here goes nothing
Another attempt writing about you
Any other matter
I serve my art on a silver platter after writing but not you
Always disturb my wordplay
Mess up how neat my words lay
Try to maintain my great quality
You're like a curse the way you straight follow me
Let me breathe
Can you please
Let me be
Serenity is all I ask while I blend this piece together
Bad enough I can't have this piece be better
Than how it's already turning out
Can't make the beauty of these words amount
To greater heights
The way I write
Ain't the way I like
It's cuz you hate me, right?

(You don't like me do you...that's the only explanation I can think of. You've been making a fool of me for what...close to a decade now? But you know the moments I always bring up that highlight my humiliation...and nowadays you just rub it in my face how you give your magic to everyone else I see, from people I know to random people I see in the street...least you can do is let me write, damnit!)

Do you tease me because we both know I'm not ready
Because I feel it's not that you think jealousy's NOT deadly
But you enjoy watching my mercury boil
My suffering from internal recoil
Trying to suppress negative energy
How I drown in the strong waters of my worst enemy
They say God is you
How is that possible
When you trigger bad thoughts within me
And have my sanity falling empty
You've only been causing envy
Hatred shouldn't be the voice within me
I'm a kind soul
That, I know
So to express jealousy
That, I won't

(You was killing my vibe more this verse, why won't you leave me alone? You won't share some of your magic with me, AND you won't let me be the lyricist I am? That's not fair. This probably could've been better than it's turning out...but you wanna fuck me up and interrupt my channeling. I'm almost done, just one more stanza...can I have this one? On second, thought fuck it, I give up, I'll just get that old piece since you wanna be part of this shit)

It's always this matter
Where I struggle to put the puzzle together
Know what I wanna say
But still troubled with words anyway
Been puzzled since forever
Why does the thought of you cripple my mind
Make me stumble and trip on my rhymes
Why can't I pack the same rhyming power in my lines
Every time I think of you
Chasing artistic satisfaction
Is like chasing money
No matter how much I'm stacking
I'm never truly happy...
My rhyming quality starts off good
Then it starts cracking as I go along
Until I no longer like it enough to wanna go on
I can usually piece together syllables
Into an elegant visual
But when I write about love
I always fail to be lyrical enough...
To my liking
But here I am still writing
Well I was...
Think I've said enough
Now I'm done

(Happy now?)