Another stay

I’m sitting here thinking….another day
Why God gave me….another stay
I’m just trying to pull these thoughts together
Wondering why I didn't turn out better
I once said suicide was not an option 
Momma why wasn't I aborted or at least given up for adoption
I am sitting here plotting…will I be alright
Will I make it through the night
I went to my crusted knees one last time
I asked God to forgive this soul of mine
I’m done lets end this
The pain hurt tremendous….like endless
I’m just sitting here thinking…one more day
God gave me….one more stay
Does it get better then this, does it somehow get better  
For me better days come….never
I live life thinking, dreaming and hoping
Lost, confused…but I’m still coping
I’m just sitting here thinking…another day
Why did God give me….another stay!