Anxiety

Anxiety

Here I am, content with life.
I am smiling. I am happy.
It is a beautiful day.
I get to work and make a living today.
I have classes to go to.
I am planning a trip to the cities to visit my friends.
I'm sitting in my car, in my home, waking up in bed.
Suddenly my heart rate increases.
I can feel my heartbeat.
It's getting to an alarming rate.
Then my stomach churns.
I feel like I'm going to be sick.
I start to shake.
My breathing becomes staggered.
I don't know what's going on.
Then the tears come out of nowhere.
I am crying.
I feel lost.
I am extremely confused.
What is going on?
Why am I so afraid?
What am I afraid of?
I need to get going.
I have work, school, a trip to take.
But I am scared.
I feel trapped and alone.
I'm convinced that something bad happened or will happen.
Am I going to get into a car accident?
Is something wrong with someone I love?
Why do I have these feelings?
My fear is out of control.
I cancel my trip to see my friends.
I call in sick to work.
I skip class.
I can't get out of my car, leave the house, get out of bed.
Why doesn't anyone else have these feelings?
Don't they know something is wrong?
Later I find out nothing bad happened.
Everyone I love is safe.
I missed my friends, work, class.
People are upset that I didn't show up... Again.
But I'm afraid to tell them what happened.
What would they say if I told them the truth?
I just had another anxiety attack.