The Appeal Of A Moose

Thinking of girls in my life back then
Searching for beauty was no use
I'm sure one was from a horror movie
She possessed the appeal of a moose!

Promised I wouldn't mention names
But her first initial is Thelma
Had a huge wart on the tip of her nose
Gorgeous? What can I tell ya!

Let me explain 'bout that lovely schnoz
It was as long as from here to Tuesday
Protruding teeth, was missing a few
Just a little off white... good news eh!

Her eyes were kinda distracting too
Each looked in a different direction
Hair was stringy and different lengths
Blue lipstick and a very bad complexion!

So all in all, I guess you might say
She wasn't one of your ravishing beauties
Body odour like that of a koala
But as far as I could tell, no cooties!

Had some redeeming features though
She possessed a heart of pure gold
Would donate the shirt right off her back
Problem was it was smelly and old!

Sure could pick 'em way back when
Her daddy was worth a few million
So to me, Thelma was a raving beauty
Now my wife and I'm worth gazillions!