Autumn Falls

Over time words break open sealed minds; speak them in rhymes with no mistakes for there is no button for a rewind. My consciousness is the shoe strings of guilt and pleasure tying together each shoe tripping me up with every step I take in existence. I lived as a child with many restrictions. I tried to cook my dreams in a kitchen as a masterpiece, but with so much on my plate my dreams didn’t look so delicious.
Shakkan, speak softly, but never treasure the heart of a young woman to replace yours that was lost; because what is lost is never forever gone. Last night I spoke in song, fiddle with the vibrations, wrote musical notes in letters, wrote notes as reminders for later. Later never came because later is now; as tomorrow is now and yesterday is forever present. So last night was not last night, the sun is always up, but just because I couldn’t see it didn’t mean my night was a dark sky with stars and moon light.
It’s making my heart weep you can’t see this, but I have been counting stars in constellations, contemplating on past conversations, reminiscing on our most intimate moments in compilations. I am filled with bliss and this is why I have to take a sip. Sip to each beat because each beat sparks a new discovery in me; I speak these words and let them drip off my lips. I am so unique and I am pleased to be me, while you was not so happy to exist.
We were teens speaking lines from movie scripts to each; to each other with belief it was meant to be. Meant to be? I was just going by what I thought was the key, but it was all a false game we played in the end. Victim to each; each our own way we slept and prayed our pain away. We drank and ate our time away. We sat and cheated our minds away. This pain we can’t escape. So young we didn’t know how to embrace; embrace was not in our common knowledge.
So all we did was run and chase, moved on with haste while the other waits and other gave their heart away. Three years later I speak in grace, smoke my weed and dance in hallways to music that opens my mind’s gate. It was then my spiritual journey made me wake to brighter days through the gloomiest ways. I speak my truth, but never the general because it was too late for us to speak together in unison like the water in the lake.
Left you be I did, let you live in harmony I said, let time do it’s part, I no longer dread. From a broken heart to waking from the dead. The knowledge of self has done me well, and I was feed at the foodshed in Miami. Lone on the beach with the waves breaching the sand under my feet; with waves of heat on my body and mellow beats playing in my ears vibrating my emotional body.
Lonely, but not when you hold me, cold, but not when the sun is showing.
~Shakkan With The Underscore.