Awareness

 Have you ever felt isolated?
Even in a crowd
While massive conversation streams
I can hear only silence
In intimate relationshiips
I feel ever so disconnected
As if in someone else's eyes
I have heard this is a psychological state
A maladaptive or neurotic condition
I feel it is a reaction
To an ever increasing feeling of detachment
A release of outcome expected
I use to dream dreams
Set goals and ideals
Realizing now how frail they were
How tied to things unchanging
I see where the only useful goal
Is my state of inner being
From the point of wellness 
Am I observing my thoughts?
Am I aware of my actions?
Do I affect others?
NOt apply for high income jobs
Or high profile status
On being an influencer or
A successful writer or even healer
Physician heal thyself 
How true is that?