Poem -
Beauty Of Poetry
heres the key
open up your mind
let me see
the cogs interwine
turning around
creating thoughts
a slight ticking sound
thinking of all sorts
pick up a pen
now grab the paper
start writing again
that lyrical flavour
inspire me beautifully
with your style
love how you seduce me
an make me smile
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Comments
Hi James I'm not knocking your earlier poems but this is a definite improvement.
Nice breaks for the reader to take a breath.
The way you have laid the poem out is also good. Much better than been scrunched up together.
I used the same rhyming sequence for quite a while until I felt I'd wore it out. It's a very effective format that allows you to say what you want and also rhyme.
I hope you don't mind my constructive feedback. Just trying to help and give my nod of approval.
Above all I like the positive message of the poem.
- Syd
Thank you syd, most of them have had a lyrical theme like rap style, i can do a mixture of both, i dont mind your feedback at all my friend, i just know now i can do both styles an please the people who like either one, but yeah thanks syd appreciate you dropping by commenting ??
I enjoyed the write and the imagery
john
Thanks john
thanks dplank
appreciate the feedback from both of you ??