Bells

I ran.
 
It wasn’t my proudest moment, no. I daresay it was the most humiliating moment in my life. But that doesn’t mean it was wrong. Does it? It didn’t’ feel wrong. It felt freeing. It felt correct.
 
It felt like the other shoe was dropping and I had finally, finally been able to get free before it touched the ground.
 
I was right to run, right?
 
I had to get away from there. There were too many guests and too many congratulations that weren’t sincere.
 
I felt that they could all see through me. They knew I wouldn’t go through with it, and I guess here I am, proving them right. I know they took bets on how long it would last. Looks like they all lost, and I am the winner, alone, but, the winner.
 
I guess I am alone now. That’s…strange.
 
It’s cold out here.
 
I guess that I thought he would-no. Never mind him now.
 
Oh, but he was lovely wasn’t he? He was good and kind and sweet and he loved me. He really loved me. He spoke kindly with my mother and talked shop with my father. My little sister adored him. I think everyone adored him.
 
He taught me to be a better person, a better friend and lover. We liked the same things too. We would stay up binging Game of Thrones, then oversleeping our alarms. Or rather I would sleep through our alarms. He never did. He woke up every time, but turned them off and rolled back over so as not to disturb me. He thought I worked too much. Maybe I did-do-did.
 
I shouldn’t be thinking like this.
 
I think-I think maybe-he loved me too much. No one had ever loved me too much before, or really at all. I think I wasn’t ready. No, I know I wasn’t ready.
 
I think I loved him. Maybe not enough. His mother always said he deserved better. He does. But we were happy I think. He made me feel happy and safe.
 
So I ran.
 
But I think I may have made a mistake.