Benjamin ( dedicated to my little brother 1983 to 1993)

The twinkle and shine from the marble headstone
Is black and sparkling in the light of a new dawn
Highlighting your name in bold gold print
Proving that you were born

Every time I look in the mirror
I see your face smile back at me
You are me and I you
Alike in every way that could be perceived

This pain , still dwells in my heart
Even though all this time has passed
I assumed that i would be the first
And you would be the last

A different childhood we had
Some things no child should see
But you never showed any fear Ben
Just carried on, being free

I sometimes picture how it would be
If that fateful day had not come to pass
How would we have been as siblings
Grown now, old now, sharing drinks and laughs

If only things were different Ben
If only bad people did not exist
We would have been children together
Arguing over christmas lists

I always think of you my brother
I love you more than anyone could know
I will visit your resting place someday
but for now, I cannot go

I refuse to say farewell you see
And if i look upon that stone in the ground
I will fall and not get back up
I will not allow myself to be ripped down

I carry so much pain my brother
so many traumas and fears
so many bad things have happened since you left
so many pieces torn from me over the years

I explode sometimes
I can't contain it all
But you're an uncle, and my girl
is the one that's stopping me fall

So I will go and watch the sun go down
And with it exhale my sigh
For it is time for night to rise
For the day to die.