Bilateral Amputee

My life has become an overbearing, overwhelming, frustrating journey 
ever since I became a bilateral amputee
I'm stil the same person I once used to be
I'm still going to live life like I'm young, wild, and free
So I don't quite understand why people are treating me so differently
People no longer glance, but now stare at me disgustingly
People no longer whisper, but now talk so loudly,.. about me
ever since this happened, a lot has changed undoubtedly
sadly, now, I don't even feel like me
but that's for me to decipher, and not anyone else BUT ME!
Everyone used to love being around me, I was the life of the party
now everyone has strayed, and I'm left to sit in my room, alone, feeling so empty
People these days make me feel like I'm some evil catastrophe
They look at me like I belong in a cage! It makes me see red and become so enraged!
I'm not a circus "freak"! I'm not something you find off the damn streets!
I'm me, no wait, I'm a human and my fking name is Stephanie
I wish people would stop acting like this is so damn easy
It's easy for you, it's easy for them, because everyone around me is still a whole body
No one understands what it's like missing part of yourself because now I don't feel like I'm somebody
People, especially these days, have no fear of telling me now that I'm nobody
But I'm not letting them or my lack of mobility drag me down
even when I do need to ask for help and get nothing in return but an unpleasant frown
This is a journey I know I need to start, and I will, on my time, when I'm ready, and on my own
Yes, I have my prosthetic legs, but right now they just sit in my closet
It's hard trying to get used to something you absolutely hate!
because having to learn how to use something that you once had naturally
is beyond exhausting, it's beyond "exciting" and they just don't personally match me
I'm still very able, I'm still very capable, I'm not a vegetable, I'm just labeled as "disabled!" 
Ugh, people, listen, look, I can still do this and I can still do that
I often try to pretend and act like I'm okay, but in my mind I'm losing control and its nothing but a constant combat
because people are always telling me to just get up and go, move on and eventually it'll be something I forget
and this literally makes me want to go from calm to psycho because let's be honest here 
if the situation was reversed, would losing part of you be something you could handle, though? 
to forget that you were born with something that is now gone forever, to move on like it was nothing but a breeze?
I don't depend on my wheelchair so I'm practically crawling, dismantling my knees, so people please!,
Before you try and tell me what I need to do, please take a moment and put yourself in my lack of shoes.

Stephanie Davis
12/08/2024