Blood stained eyes

Sometimes when she looks at me,
smiling,
radiance in her face,
she looks so happy,
if not for the eyes,
they say something,
very different,
hopeless,
grief-filled,
a girl whos lost everything,
watched her world curdle,
and writhe in some nightmarish pain,
watch it wither,
watch it die,
watch her cry,
watch her weep away her soul,
watch her sweep away her pain,
pretend it's fake,
pretend it didn't matter
pretend it didn't break her.
Two days go  by,
no tears,
no loss shown,
just a smile,
and a lie,
all is fine,
all is great,
no blood stained eyes,
no sleepless nights,
​it's all wonderful,
a drink here,
a drink there,
keep the thoughts away,
keep the day alive,
all light,
all laughs,
nothing bad,
just all me.
I've lost everyone,
everything,
no home,
no love,
no thoughts,
all lies,
automated answers,
all them,
not me,
watch the world fall,
memories clash with reality,
burn out life,
all live in the past,
focus
never forget,
never let go,
see the blood,
feel the fear,
pretend it's not real,
don't ever lie.
Just hid them in your blood stained eyes.