Blowing loud

That smoke cloud
It seems to make its way back round
And I'm blowing loud so it engulfs the sounds
I suppose it cuts you off
No suicide you can't have enough
So i just sit I suppose
Puff puff puff
My morning afternoon night routine
Always feeling lean since a teen
I'm such a feen low self esteem
It must be the green
But I felt way low before I even touched the sky
Before mum looked me in the eye
Question of why i be lookin so high
I had mental health before any substance abuse
I came from a house of trumor and treuce 
I came from unstable and stable
Fallin asleep in food at the dinner table
Sweetcorn and carpet mixed
So don't  judge me for dealing tricks
Judging me when I have to escape my brain
Cannabis drink or cocaine
Different levels but it's my locked room
Focused thoughts on making it thru
Cos Trust me them class As will make a waste out of you
They made a waste out of me so now I'm just out here smoking my weed
Keeping mellow no prescription pills
Despite what they tell you they keep us ill
But listen I've go no agenda to fill
Love is love but depression can kill