Poem -
Broken
Did you ever notice me because I noticed you did you ever love me because I loved you I remember when you put me in the friend zone a place you never took me out of do you remember the girl who always smiled you don’t know why she tried so much all the broken pieces she wanted you and only you but you pushed her away did you see her smile break well it’s fallen on the ground she asked you to pick it up and you stepped on it she won’t be the same she try’s but you will never understand
Comments
I am loving the intensity of this piece, the almost desperate need to be noticed by the person you love..it's a great, emotional piece and clear that you have a lot to say and I look forward to reading many more. If you will allow me to make a tiny suggestion, you might want to look at some punctuation throughout it, as that can add to the overall feeling of loss and tragedy placing emphisis in certain phrases maybe?A lovely piece Jessica and welcome to Cosmofunnel! Lodigiana x