"But I will drive on." Rewritten by Ben Goode 2019 (c)

Wondering under the same sun and moon as you. Is all I can do. 
But do you feel the same as me? Or has the moon taken my sanity? 
A lunatic of wishes. A foolhardy gambler. 
What have I won? But a broken heart? 
Time and again.
And I wonder why I ever tried?
A life size mirror answers. 
And here I am looking away deliberately, from who I am.
An unseen reflection, hard to ignore, in the ironically highly polished mirror. 
But it's way too vivid to want to face. 
The man staring back doesn't tell me anything. And what he doesn't say. I already know. 
He isn't any more happier than I am. 
The reluctant reflection, that has to be so damned detailed?
Larger than life. And that's the problem. With a life so short? 
The fuse has already been lit. But there will be no fireworks in the finale.
Taking risks beyond his previous personality. Why had he held back so long?
Why was he never that strong? Tainted with doubt, as if it were a contagious disease.
A younger shyness and lost ability. Surprised in the boldness of a man, who took a step forward. 
On a tightrope of demand. 
A step down a path he cannot return from. A journey he must finish. 
Perhaps started wrong. A love lost in the process of time. 
A person in life no longer mine. Death has not parted. 
There is no love anymore. Just alone and broken-hearted. 
Maybe? Could be in a new way. Perhaps in a new day. 
Too far away for complacency. Too far away for freedom to see. 
A freedom that awaits in another life. A road has been taken. 
Bitterness as harsh as a knife. A single lane with no u-turn. 
Maybe only a roundabout of delay. A reward awaits well earned. 
Maybe? Yes admittedly I have lost my way. Who can ever say?
What direction was I ever going?
And who deserves to be left behind?
I don't want to be controlled, or dictated to.
And I don't need a tough love. 
Travelling down these rough roads. 
My tyres will hold out a little longer. In this old car I call a body.
It's mileage is high. But I will drive on.