Caution and Desire

I question the passion behind everything you say.
It takes me to a place I use to go every day.
The failures that I have made and the dreams I crushed on my own
I don’t see how you get away with it and yet I don’t do anything about it
Wishing for things to change and the passion I have
I’m waiting for you to gain one like mine
The raindrops hitting against my window makes me think
It sounds just like the teardrops that hit my paper
The sound illuminating in my head
Showing me a way to escape these wounds and scars I have
Yet I am trapped just like the raindrops
They are trapped at the bottom of my window with nowhere to go
And I, I am trapped by my thoughts   
My inability to stop thinking
Stop creating
Stop looking for a way out
Nowhere to go and nothing to see or be
My friend’s voices ringing in my head telling me what to do
Run, leave, get out, get away, forget it all
The past flashes in my mind
The childhood I had
The family I was born into
Knowing this was the family I was meant to be with
Yet, feeling so out of place
So lost
My life seemed so off course
The child in me was back to that place forever
The problems I kept to myself
The insecurities that it all created for me
What was meant to go right for me?
Now, with my life where it is
You’re what is right for me
But, so wrong for my state of mind
What do I do?
I have this burning sensation in my heart
From all the confusion
It’s intense
As if a Bandersnatch clawed at my heart
Nothing can save me
Except maybe you
Yet, when it comes to you
Everyone is saying escape, escape, escape