Child's play

Do you ever hide from yourself? 
Like a childhood you had withheld. 
Not even intentionally. 
It seems like it's lasted an eternity.
Fearing never being who you once were. 
Searching for the self you always admired. 
Coming up short. 
Hiding deeply inside your fort. 
It's like a game of hide and seek.
I can never find myself.
I constantly feel weak. 
This part of myself is missing. 
I Search for it nightly.
Finding this seems more and more unlikely. 
I voluntarily gave up myself. 
Ever since then I've been living in hell. 
Each one who broke my heart took a piece of me with them. 
I've been detierating since then. 
Fading away into an Oblivion. 
I just wish I hadn't been such an idiot.