Poem -
Claiming Ownership
steely screams interrupt
the rhythm of two lovers;
strangers passing time
on the over night train
driven by the forces
of amorous attraction
seeking only a one night stand Ā
but suddenly the man stays still
Ā alarmed by the nature
of the relentlessĀ shaking
Ā Pools of sweat
drownĀ his eyes
when a light enters
through the window
his skin turnsĀ cold
as she blushes in gold
Ā pleasure possessing
Ā her willing soul Ā Ā
Ā then the man hears a voice
speaking sure and slow
'even in death, I claim ownership'
Ā Ā she smilesĀ inĀ the after glow
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Comments
wow this is very intense!
hey intense with some rhymes as well, lol....stay well my friend....hugs with thanks for stopping byĀ
hey sis. your explanation sounds good to me, lol....I think her loverĀ is a possessive ghost; incubust? Ā or socubust one or the other lol....was trying to say something about holding up a past loveĀ asĀ a standard impossible for any one 'new' to reach; holding on to ghosts, and yes she holdsĀ all the cards.....I think I got a little to 'cute' with this one though...., way too much plot for a poem, maybe....glad you enjoyed....peace and loveĀ Ā
Chris! Ā OKā¦She is a succubus who is looking for a new loverā¦.always searching wanting to keep what she longs to possess: Ā a lover who will not die during the vigorous act of amorous sex.Ā Yet the claim will always causeĀ death, no other outcome is possibleā¦it is a certaintyĀ she must acceptā¦ yet determined she intuitively seeksĀ "the one" who will not perish within her heated embrace. Ā Yes,ā¦sheĀ continues to ride the midnight trains.
I enjoyed this write!
val xox
Valerie! Ā OK...Ā your interpretation of this poem is superb...honestly I love it and it's a great idea for a short story as well, wow, it doesn't look good for the poor fellow does it? lol, hey I really enjoyed your fun and insightful comment, much thanks....cheers Val
you are a superb reviewer Lily Mae, I appreciate them; your personality and great sense of humour comes out....lol, hey this poem is very weird in the way it turned out, honestly I was trying to make a point about cherished love and it turned out sounding like a tale aboutĀ a delusional love sick succubus with in your words 'scary mojo' Ā ah well! Ā stuff happens in the big bad city, lol I kinda like it though; it's quarky....cheers my friend
wow Chris, amazing write..its interesting the interpretations you got for this one...u nailed it. :)
PEPPER.
pepper Ā omg! Ā how the heck are you? Ā thanks for reading and I'm glad you enjoyed....cheers