Cocoa [Part II] rap

A real one
Knew it from day one
Ever since freshman year never considered you as just a peer
It was clear
We clicked
On some joke about cocaine
Like propane the fire was lit
Shit-
Feels like just yesterday
When it was all jokes and games
But now thinking of you in that state
Gives me chest pains
I can’t complain
You still alive tho
You’re still my main hoe,
But I don’t know what I‘d do
If you died, yo-
Would I cease to live
Like Pac or Big?
Your metaphorical grave I dig
I put flowers on the casket
Crying in my sleeve
Raindrops on my glasses
I can't express what you mean to me
Truly-

I believe you to be
The main squeeze
Really-
I know it’s kinda fucked up
But I get worried
Every time I call and you don’t pick up
Right away
Thoughts rush to my brain
Visions of a vigil
Attending your funeral
And If you pass before me-
You might as well take me with you
Cos if you die I couldn’t handle it-
End up standing looking over a bridge
Or putting a shotty to my body
And make the trigger click
Taking a Gillette and shaving my wrists
And that’d be it-
You’re the most important thing to me
I‘d give up writing poetry
In a heartbeat
If it meant prolonging your life
For even just a week
To be real,
I just feel now
Like I‘m waiting on the news
Channel six
And your face appears
Filling me with fear
The way you lack drive sometimes
Makes me want to scream
Because I‘m your rock
And you rely on me
But I don’t know what to say
Because I‘m going through the same thing
I want to tell you it gets better
But I‘m no fortune teller
All I know is I could weather the weather
If we stick together
Stay on each other’s backs like sweaters
You make me want to get my shit together
I love you like a sister
And I want to be there for you
Care for you
When you need me to
I want to get my life straight
And stop fucking around
Stay tethered to the ground
Try to help you out
Not saying it’s easy
Believe me
But I know we could get there
I love just being with you
Riding in your car-
Busting rap tunes
Entire afternoons
Just laughing with you
You make me a better person
Don’t you ever put yourself in a hearse, man

I told you I loved you
I meant it-
I told you’d I‘d write it-
I said it.
I want to give you all I can
I need to be a better friend
So nothing like that ever happens again
With suicide you never win
And you’d never know the person
I‘ve always known you to be
You’re the only one who can’t see her
Tho you be her
Change your demeanor
For me hoe,
Please tho-

I‘ve thought it over
Been processed and filed
Just remember what I told you
Still see it like a photo
And I know
How it go
The struggle
The hustle
Keep your shit right in your temple
Keep the light on in your mental
Cos this life is permanent-
No rentals.