Crazy Cheater

My wife cheats on me all of the time.
I also cheated and she acts like it was a crime.
My wife is crazy and she has gone too far.
She's homicidal and she also keyed my car.
Her three brothers beat the crap out of me and threw me in a dumpster.
She dropped a safe and flattened my head and I look like Herman Munster.
That safe damn nearly killed me, I almost died.
If somebody said she's not crazy, he or she lied.
When I was installing a water heater, she turned on the breaker.
I got a 240 volt shock and once again I almost met my maker.
I should've known something was wrong because as I installed it, she made me stand in a bucket of water.
I shouldn't have asked for her hand in marriage, I should've told her dad that I didn't want his daughter.
She's furious because she's not the only one who broke our wedding vows.
If your wife is like my wife, you'd better leave her and you'd better leave now.