Cursed

I’m nonexistent even though I exist, I’m a patient off the list, my reality is fiction, my personification pretend, pretend, pretend… 
 

If I can’t stand who I was, if I don’t like who I am, how can I ever become someone I will love? 

I know if I cannot, then no one can. I know who it is I should be but I refuse to change. I desire to in between all the temptations to remain the same.

I’m mentally fucked, that is the conclusion I think, but I hide it so fucking well! 

I’m a patient yet to be discovered, the truth within myself I have never uncovered, my happiness forever trapped but I refuse to let them know!