Cuts

It hurts when you don't know why everything hurts so much. When it's "no big deal" and it's just a big deal to you. You feel like your world is falling apart when everything is perfectly still. Your heart is pumping so fast when your pulse stay's the same. It might not be a big deal to other people but they're not like this. They don't process everything in the negative way you do. Its a sick and twisted thing you do to yourself. You are your own worst enemy. All these walls close in on you until you have no more fight left. Your broken heart was not only broken it was shattered. It cannot heal with the band aids and casts you put on your cuts, broken bones and bruises. You refuse to accept compliments given, but every insult is carved in stone.  You cut all these feelings into yourself because you don't want to talk about them. Then when you don't attach yourself to the feelings you released through your blood, you're empty. It's worse than being dead it's living without a soul. It suffocates every fiber of your very being. It's drowning without water. The sorrow you stored away creeps up on you when you are most vulnerable. The hair pulling, the hair biting, the silent screams into the pillow, until the finale of your suffering. Your shame, your pain, and your insecurities are somehow forgotten. Because in truth;

it's easier to deal with physical pain than emotional.