[Dante’s Circles of Hell]

It’s total darkness. An airless fire. A flame without life. I have committed myself to the silence. My lips are sealed by sticky saliva. Destroyed with the kindest regards of the drought. Black and blank like my thoughts. The hardened calmness is irritating. I am here. I can’t scream inside the total darkness. It’s insulated and noiseless. It’s suffocatingly hot, although it will never, ever! Let me die. ERROR, ERROR, I AM! DEAD! DESCENTION!

In my time of dying                  Maybe I’ll sleep tomorrow. 

It’s total darkness. Blinding yellow flashes. A thunder without a spark. I have committed myself to the dark. Amidst this total darkness during the eruption of the flashes, thunder and creation. The beauty of the breast and vulva appear on a faceless brown, glittering golden body. Her arms point towards me, as I mistake her offer for an unwanted hug. Closer she comes and soon I feel her mouthless tongue twirling mine. Quick, darling, cover your privates with the mud before the lightning strikes. Let us paint our bodies in red. Crimson blood red bodies fucking and dying for the first and last time. For anyone to see in slight disgust and sudden fascination for they have never witnessed perfect sex and dirt and world-ending chaos. ERROR, ERROR, MY LOVE! DEBAUCHERY!

Well, well, well                    Maybe I’ll get out of bed tomorrow.

It’s raining silver lines as if there were cracks of light inside the total darkness. But it’s not quite polished enough to brighten the empty. I have committed myself to the unbounded. It washes away the paint and the mud and the chaos. Leaving me naked, wet, thirsty and freezing to death. Every raindrop overflows my mouth. Maniacally, I desire more. The ribs that protrude outside my body demand more! More! More! More! But, oh! ERROR, ERROR, MY BODY! OBESOPHOBIA!

So I can die easy          Maybe I’ll look in the mirror tomorrow.

The total darkness screams! All emotion erupting! I have committed myself to the malfunction. I can not hold them in any longer, they’re freeing themselves in a rainbow eruption. Followed by the release of a washed away grey colored gas that leaves me paralyzed. The gas engulfing the rainbow whole and glazing up the entire total darkness in prismatic glass. Oh, I ponder what would happen if. And then a stranger walks in. the glass shatters, cutting my paralyzed body perfectly in pieces. So that the gassed rainbow can heal me once more yet again. ERROR, ERROR, DEAR STRANGER! SUPRESSION!

Take my body home               Maybe I’ll brush my teeth tomorrow.

The aggression. Unreasonable, without a cause. I can’t strike inside the total darkness. It’s untouchable! Imperishable! Impeccable!. I have committed myself to the impotent. I want out! Out! I can not handle the suffering of eleutheromania. Why can’t I escape this total darkness? There’s no scenery, no show, no flashes, no glass, nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing anymore. BUT AHH! ERROR, ERROR, MY BRAIN! SIMPLELIVING!

If my wings should fail me, Lord.          Maybe I’ll shower tomorrow.

It’s total darkness. All I hear is laughter from the great above. The endless bully! I will not commit to you. You the high and mighty, all powerful. Dominating and orchestrating the lives of the less fortunate’  demise. I will not stand for your hypocrisy nor will I ever admit mine. And with those words outspoken for all nothing and no one to hear, chaos was created once more. Sweet, sweet chaos. Destroy me! Freeze me and burn me more! Drown me and dry me out more! Show me kalopsia and ruin it with reality! Hand me the feeling of redamancy and take great pleasure in your sadistic lying needs! ERROR, ERROR, MY LORD! SAVE ME!

I want nobody to mourn               Maybe I’ll wear clothes tomorrow.

The total darkness is fighting back. It has heard my prayers and is  granting me freedom in the shape of an endless beating until eternal death closes in. Colossal elastic black worm-shaped arms coming out of the infinite darkness striking viciously without restraint. And I? I have given up the fight. I have committed myself to the punisher. The bruises light up my transparent body in blue, yellow, green and purple neon. Every strike takes away the feeling of pain. “TOUGHER!” it screams. “YOU NEED TO BE TOUGHER!” I believe. Oh, ERROR, ERROR, MY FEELINGS! A DISGRACE!
 
I can hear the angels singing        Maybe I’ll clean my room tomorrow.

And total darkness, I commit myself to you, I commit myself to acceptance. For I have spoken so many unintelligible love languages in my time of living. Fictitious and credible, self-believed lies at the price of the love-capable. Out of jealousy and fear. Wait! No, don’t you stop beating me now! The ground’s trembling. Falling apart, creating a hole where I lie. ERROR, ERROR, MY FAITH! THE UNKNOWN!

I never thought I’d do anybody no wrong        Maybe I’ll eat tomorrow.

To fall into the shackles of anhedonia. I have flown over the black sea and the black beach. To feel the soft, warm touch of the orange evening sunset before being inundated by the total darkness I had committed myself to, willingly. I am with freight. For my mind perceives the thoughts that one might not have experienced total contentment, like I once did. Oh, that last sunset, evanescent. Finalizing the greater impact of what could’ve been. I felt its warmth caressing my skin, carelessly, without a second thought. As if our souls were destined to intertwine. For the first time I felt vigorous. Floating in front of the star, igneous and exposed. Emotional in full effect. How could I have killed that star? How could I have killed? For the last time, ERROR, ERROR, MYSELF! BETRAYAL!
   
Jesus going to make up my dying bed        Maybe I’ll go out tomorrow.