Dear ex bestfriend

I fell in love with the tought of having a best friend.
So i treated you like one.
Started living in an illusion.
Of believing what was not oke to be oke.
But your standards were never mine.
In the end i think what i gave was to little.
But what i did to much.
I poured my heart into a cup.
And you drank it.
But my bloodstreams werent enough.
You needed more.
Or maybe less.
Because all i know.
Is that in the end.
My love wasnt enough.
My sorry ’s were never enough.
It was me, it was always me.
But my tears didnt slow.
The anger didnt stop.
How could i have understood when all you said was oke.
Im sorry i got mad.
Im sorry i spoke the words out loud that my mind wanted to keep hidden.
The will of the heart was to strong.
To strong to keep a hold on.
I said i’m sorry in a thousand words.
But all you heard was an endless goodbye.
But remember.
When was lying on the floor, chocking from heartacke.
You said goodbye.
I was falling, for years.
You grabbed my hand and held it tight.
But when grafity pulled you closer to the echg.
Your mind was made up.
With not a single doubt in it.
I screamed.
I cried.
I apoligezed for what was not there.
It slipped.
Your hand,
Slipped.
And i knew that moment, you gave up on me.
But before you let go.
You had to let me know it was my own fault.
By pusching those away that left me.
By pushing you away.
I didnt.
I just,
Couldnt ask for help.
But then i did.
And you,
Let go.