Dear Mother Nature

Look at my face, how can this be?

There's wrinkles there for all to see,

Surely these weren't meant for me,

Give me a break, I am thirty-three!

This can't be right, I must be tired,

These crevices are not desired,

I'll accept them once I've retired,

But please delete, until they're required.

Another thing, whilst on the matter,

Why on earth am I getting fatter?

I need my stomach to be flatter,

I haven't changed what's on my platter!

This can't be right, I must be bloated!

This isn't the size that I was quoted,

But it is essential that it's demoted!

These errors have been duly noted.

Mother Nature, I do despair,

How have I found another grey hair?

I wanted to make you fully aware,

Because what you are doing is really unfair!

This can't be right, I must be seeing things,

The wrinkles, the hair and the bingo wings,

Surely you could pull a few strings,

Mend me by morning, before my alarm rings!