Debating On A Situation

Sitting here debating on a situation I'm facing
My mind going crazy as I'm steady pacing 
This going back & forth in my head & this room; has my heart racing.
I consider every option & leave no stone unturned 
If I don't choose wisely, then I might get burned
Maybe I'll find some answers in the lessons I've learned.
Looking back at my past & I'm amazed I'm even here
I'm wondering why I haven't defeated my biggest fear, 
I'm waiting on my happiness to just draw near. 
I pray its drawing closer & not falling way behind 
I feel like I've been wrapped up & tied in a bind 
I look for reasons why but they're hard to find. 

Sitting here waiting on a tomorrow that might not come, 
I want a full meal, I'm tired of just a crumb 
I wonder but have no idea where it'll come from. 
I sit & wait patiently for the sun to light my day 
Hoping that when it finally does I'll be able to say 
I love my life, my wife, & my kids in every way. 
I'm not going to hold my breath or build up my hope  
I'm standing on the edge & around my neck is a rope 
Do I have strength inside to climb this slope? 
Can I climb my way out of this deep hole? 
Can I do it without losing anymore of my soul? 
The years have started to take their toll.