Am I Alone?

I feel like I am lost and I can't find my way. 
No matter what I do or how much I pray. 
Is it the enemy, is it myself, or is it truth? I don't know the answer I can't find proof.
I don't fully understand, 
I don't fully know, 
I feel too broken to stand, 
I feel trapped below. There's too many voices inside screaming at me, which do I believe and trust?
which is to deceive and turn my soul to rust, 
Less than dust.
I am alone, tired and broken 
I am lost, I am confused
 I am unworthy and dirty
I am scum of the earth
I've been cursed since birth
 to never understand or believe my  self worth
so I sit in my own agony and self-pity 
hating myself and  feeling shitty
do I deserve this? Maybe I do
 maybe I am meant to never be more
then I am right now, a sinner with flesh so rotten and foul.
that even God says" wow, I created that? what was I thinking? I guess even I make mistakes."
and with that thought my heart breaks and I feel more alone then before, more unsure, more insecure, a little more dead inside.
a little bit deeper I run and hide deeper into my mind behind the wall, 100 feet tall, blocking all, and at the same time I fall from the top but I can't stop going behind and climbing up again, and again. there is no hope to win, losing losing lost.
I feel lost, broken, and alone.
I cannot find myself, it feels like all hope is gone
maybe it is all gone, maybe I am alone....
Am I alone?