Deep End

It feels like I’m sinking further everyday. Constantly being swept by the sea of life’s sway. Every time I catch a breath of air, the foulness of reality taints it’s freshness. The sea pulls at me, weighing down my dreams. I can’t seem to shake off the salty tang of hurt from emotional and mental wounds. I wish I had the will to struggle, but it takes energy to go against the peer pressure of the crowd, than it is to lose yourself in its waves. 
I know I’m sinking further everyday. I tell myself in denial that it’s normal, that it’s just a phase. That being a follower is okay. Chant to myself, when the moon is high, and the tides get larger, that I’ll eventually resurface to my dreams. 
I think all of this, yet never ask the most important question: When will I try to swim?