Poem -

DeTeRmInEd GoAlS

Freestyle

DeTeRmInEd GoAlS

I didn’t replace me 
You can’t face me 
Keep calling me someone 
IM NOT 
That doesn’t change me 
Back to who he was 
Nor make me 
Who I’m not 
I have moved on 
Overcoming 
Childhood trauma 
Past pain 
HEARTBREAK 
Insecurities 
And feelings of 
WEAKNESS 
IM BETTER 
Now time to 
DIFFERENTIATE 
Realize I’m ok of that 
Now I got 
OTHER BATTLES 
Like alcoholism 
And love for others 
Besides MYSELF 
Narcissism 
FAITH
Might be the only cure 
And I know in my heart 
This to be true 
But one step at a time 
Leads to a lifetime of 
CURE 
Baby steps
This transformation 
But 31 years of
HELL ON EARTH 
Seems impossible to 
CURE 
Unless you want it BAD 
And I sure DO
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT 
ACCEPTANCE 
UNDERSTANDING
REALIZING
DESIRING
CHANGE 
TO BE 
OR NEVER TO NOT BE 
THAT ISN'T OF QUESTION 
I WILL AND IN TIME 
BECOME BETTER 
A PROMISE I 
MADE TO 
MYSELF 

Sincerely,
Shallow Waters......
Not 
Reborn 

 

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Comments

author
RG

Thank you Greg :) 

Reply
author
Gwendoline

Shallow Waters, I think you captured that journey of self discovery through the battle of trauma really well. Our past can have an immeasurable amount of impact on the NOW. But most of it is caused from the effects of other things or people. So our true self fights to be freed. But it gets consumed by those things that tried to shape us into a broken shell of a human. So we have high and low moments, as we seek our selves within the rubble of our past. I got my fingers crossed for you to breakdown all that rubble and free yourself from your demons. The audio was perfect for the poem.

“These demons in my closet got me feeling like am a little bit narcissistic, when it comes to being realistic”  

Powerful self assessment here. When we take true stock of how we project ourselves, and what is influencing our thinking,  we become open to accepting change and healing. We become more empowered. You express perfectly the turmoil many face as they strive to climb out of that past rubble 

I hope in time you feel happier 
Gwen 

Reply
author
RG

Thank you for your interpretation and point of view . I appreciate your support and desire for my self journey and transformation . My relationships with my family have been night and day difference since my last year of poetry and the letting go of “bad blood”
along with bitterness and past resentment . Some really tough conversations with my relatives that normally would’ve been off limits due to my comfort level and or lack of confidence preventing us from getting closer or being able to forgive and apologize ( which have both taken place) Including a visit with my step dad . Moving back to where I ran from and having to face it all was necessary however I think I relied on alcohol a little to much without realizing as a comfort to dilute the anxiety and I acknowledged that. So these next two issues seem very realistic to overcome as I felt at one time my past trauma would be something I’ve accepted would go to the grave with me. Thank you for your kind words and support . 

Reply
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