Didn't I ?

Didn't I tell you I was locked
Settled in a void with just enough...
Light to keep me sane
In the hope I wouldn't feel again

Didn't I tell you I was fine
On my own, in this heart of mine
Where the days were always "fine"
And I cuddled up to my tears at night.

Didn't I tell you I was not enough
I got going , when it got tough
I locked myself away, I could not speak
Of the horrors I faced in my sleep

Didn't I tell you I'm not that strong
Even though people think I'm wrong
I put a mask on my face and I smile
But inside , I die a piece at a time

Only empty air and space
Gives me my much needed solace
And perhaps the small comfort will be
I'll make sure my child is not like me

Only time and trial will tell
My achievement at the tolling bell
When the gates open to oblivion
I'll know if my fight was really won

Didn't I tell you I hate myself
Though I've never wanted to be anyone else
I'm kinda proud, and I'll give a little smile
I'm surrounded but alone inside

Didn't I tell you I've needed you
Your beautiful soul has got me through
With a hand you've pulled me up
And in time I'll learn never to give up

Only time and trial will show me
If I have the power to set myself free
From the self doubt that I see daily
Through green eyes of sympathy.