Ding Dong, Texas

Met this gal from Ding Dong, Texas

Had warts all over her bum

I know because she showed me them

I got up and started to run

Her six foot twelve hulk of a brother

Said, "Boy! Best ya sits y'self down!"

I knew I should listen to brother Luke

The meanest damn dude in town!

So Anitabath, his ding-a-ling sister

Cozied up and quietly whispered

"How's if we have some fun in the hay?"

I quivered at having to kiss her!

I said okay as this ding-a-ling stripped

I cringed at her wart covered bum

Saw a chance and tried to scurry away

But Luke was on guard with a gun!

"Just where d'ya think yer goin', sonny?"

As he blocked my escape with his brawn

Just then I spotted a tiny opening

Took off like a skitterish young fawn!

I heard the ominous crack of Luke's rifle

Felt around but could feel no pain

Got into my pick-up and took off like a shot

Never gone near Ding Dong again!

There's definitely a moral in this sad little tale

Don't hang out in a bar in Ding Dong

Less you're ready for some Texas hospitality