Childhood Disability. Adulthood Catharsis.

Childhood Disability.   Adulthood Catharsis.

Part I  Annual Reviews

As a disabled child

I felt that I was always on trial

I had Cerebral Palsy affecting my right hand side

And

This was used as a reason

For the “Annual Reviews” at school

Where they would use my CP as a reason

To discuss my academic progress

Though the two were unrelated.

They would have a meeting

And part way through I

Would be invited to join them:

I was never sure when walking into the room

Whether they were smiling or smirking at me.

I would see what the teachers had written

And they would continue the discussion.

Actually this was meant for my own good

And I’m not bitter.  It’s done me little or no harm

And I imagine these annual reviews were

A legal requirement.

Part II  The Things They Say

“He’s heavy handed”

“He’s a loner”

“Your right hand’s got worse”

(The last an opinion, I’d say).

These things were said by

My helper at school

Rather unkind but then…

There was the NHS physiotherapist…

“So the doctor’s said you don’t have to

Wear a splint (AFO) on your leg anymore

Because it causes blisters.

If your walking deteriorates

I’ll put you in calipers.”

“You were really rude

To so and so when you were

Only two.  You really didn’t like

Having to have physiotherapy-

In fact about the politest thing

You ever said to her was “Goodbye.”

And then I was totally humiliated

In my own home one time or more.

“You’ve been too dependent on

Your helper at school;

After the teacher’s given the class

Instructions and told you what to do

It’s like “What…?" From you

And you don’t know what to do.

And rely on your helper

To tell you (my fault I concede).

(My father sat on a chair as far away

As possible from this, looking disappointed).

When my mother said something to

The physiotherapist

She went on to try to humiliate me

In front of my helper at school:

Saying vaguely unkind things and then

“Oh I’m not supposed to say that am I?"

I realise bringing up a disabled child

Can’t be easy but to any parents

And helpers of disabled children out there

I’d say:  Be considerate

It’s not their fault they're disabled.