Dispare

Fear grips my heart, thousands of needles penetrate my brain making it throb in agony.

 How do you break it to the ones you love that you won't be around as long? Breaking their hearts and stealing their happiness. All in a sentence three words strong.

Selfish is how I feel, topped with an unhealthy amount of guilt. I should have listened to their warnings of dire things to come, but I didn't think of the impact my selfishness would have.

Even writing this I'm toking on another bloody fag, thinking of the longer life I now know I can never have.