DOCTOR NO

Most of us men don't like going to the doctor,
after partner pressure and barracking from 'her;'
here's the list: dodgy bollocks, all this stuff sucks,
varicose veins, lumps and bumps, problems from previous f.... .

Prostate, frequent toilet visits, shit - I need a filling,
don't tell me that you're worried about the billing,
hearing gone, misty vision - the optician is my decision,
then there's the nasty rash, I pick it with precision.

Malignant melanoma , the thought sent me into a coma,
but all this itchy nonsense won't stop me reading Homer,
they sent me a testing kit - want to look at my shit,
I'm disected, but hopefully my genitals will still fit.

I know 'dont mock' but you're not the one with the dodgy cock,
fortunately, after all this crap - my heart is like a rock.