Don't blame you

I don't blame you for not wanting to go near it.
It's been totally disgusting  anyway, too yucky to touch let alone lick it. 
I hate it much much more than you, can't trust it to behave. 
Can't trust it not to pull down the hormones.
Trash logical me.
Shower the forever dirty in boo hoo's. 
Want to reject it but it's already expelled. 
Want not to be in this anymore. 
Escape not possible in the world of womanly duty. 

Dislike and dishonor, tainted and stained.
Am I ever going to shrug the unclear, uncomfortable, uncertain, unclean. 

Hate so much of what I was born into. 
Hate so much that I couldn't make the best of it. 
Hate how it all happened every bit of it. 
Hate myself because of it. 

Full of dislikes hormones running a muck, getting me stuck, getting me the oh craps. 
Why is the load to heavy to pull, why won't it lighten a reflection of horrendous I guess. 
Don't blame you for feeling differently about me, you're not the only one who has. 

Weakness stupid weakness all built in dam moans of my whore. 
Don't blame you for saying gross, that's exactly how I feel. 
Sends a chill , a major wobble this chemical imbalance, the type rope, dental floss thin. 

Spent ill-gotten feelings. 
Got carried away with blame. 
And destroyed. 
Don't blame I was taught to take accountability. 
But taking ment giving myself grief.