Don't Block My Exit

It was too heavy
We walked through
The jungle carrying it
with both arms and backs
For it was too great
Even for the strength that we lacked
For a fortnight we saw nothing but
Rain and guilt poor from the sky
And land collectively on our backs
And our hands were covered in god's
Thread as we said our prayers and went to bed
When we awoke the pain failed to reside
It had only increased
And every single day we prayed like priests
But ironically priests we were the least
The sinners, the ones in need of saving
We saw our conscience sitting in the field
And simply kept on waving
Depravity laughed in our faces
When we came to consciousness
And saw the blood
He only tried to help us
And we made his grave the mud
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Comments
Like this curious! On the fifth line down not sure I would use the word 'massive', it jarred a little. I would have said something like 'For it was too great' or something like that. Just mho lol!:) On the 17th line down Curious I think you meant to put conscience, not conscious but just a typo lol!!! Like your style of writing Curious, much enjoyed:)
Thanks Blossom for your constructive criticism I'll work on it :)