don't match my face

I'm trapped in here I need to leave this place 
because my insides don't match my face
for a long while now I force a smile
I guess I can fake it but just for a while
all of you want me seen but not heard
and you don't realize that you hurt me with words
I try to remember you don't use them like poison
yet time after time everyone joins in 
I don't want you to think I wasn't a part
of the beautiful moments that sparked in my heart
I fear insanity and I'm begging to go 
a process so maddening crazy starts to show
constantly ridiculed and made to feel stupid
yet you fly off the handle but its never what you did
every time I start talking you seem to cut in
you never really listen so I barely begin
emotions of all types from happy to sad
all bottled and typed out locked behind this key pad
you never show interest only talk about you
I listen and listen you give me nothing to do
I do have a brain, a heart, and two eyes
seeing right through to its untimely demise 
so clever you played the poor helpless victim
you knew every step and still went along with them
the game you are playing is a dangerous one
the monster portraying transformations begun
every time you blow up it is changing your heart 
the small shreds of what's left I see him pick you apart