Doze

Falling asleep to the stroke of a pen
The rhythm of song masks the hell that I bear
I think to myself, "Will you notice me then?"
Will the struggles I face, emphasize my despair?
There's an all-consuming silence, but it still seems so loud
Confusion surrounds me with a deafening noise
My heart teems with violence like a riotous crowd
But it all could be soothed with the gentlest voice
Like the warmth of a fire after walking in the snow
Or a cool sip of water on the hottest of days.
I'm so close to trusting and just letting go
But then again, I could be a lifetime away
Darkness envelopes my unfulfilled soul
As I reach for a stronghold that's not really there
I feel like all I can do is let life take its toll
Let death overtake me and reside in its snare
Deliver me from this turmoil that's so prevalent now
It's ubiquitous presence I cannot escape
I'm trying to conquer it but I don't know how
There's a battle within me that I cannot abate
There are no words to describe this perpetual fear
How will it end? Will I soon be relieved?
Or will torture press on while the light disappears?
Masquerading as hope, while it leaves me so grieved
I have just one more question as I come to a close
These burdens are making it harder to breathe
My eyelids are heavy and I'm starting to doze
Will I ever wake up from this sleep?