Due To The Words I Had Spoken

Yes, I do feel weak
Yes, I am afraid to speak

Because, if I speak what I feel
People, do not take me for real

So if I speak, I am afraid to be left alone
In a darkened corner, wishing to be buried under a stone

Back, maybe fourteen years ago
I had everything to show

I lost it all, after one simple fact
I spoke, at first no one knew, how to react

To those words, I spoke
After though, my heart became completely broke

Like a ghost, taken by the wind
I felt horrible, as if I had sinned

When, I had simply spoken
For my life, to be broken

Everyone, at home, just left me behind
Due to the words I had spoken, from my mind

I had only said, that I was afraid
That I was being betrayed

Then, my greatest fear
Was not having my family near

When that fear came true
It destroyed me, as it would of for you, too

For many years, I remained silent
But, the fear of being alone, grew violent

I let it control me
Because, I am not strong enough to be

Standing all alone, again
I still remember, when

I realized, I meant nothing to her
Then a depression began to stir

I was emotionally tortured, to say the least
To everyone, I felt as some ugly beast

They turned me, into someone I will never be
Because hurting others does not inspire me

But, they would bring me down and manipulate me
I still cannot see

Why, everyone attempted to hurt me, not help me instead
People made me wish I was dead

I felt dead to them, anyways
So please do not question, why now a days 

I live in fear
To shed a tear

All do to the words, I had spoken
Today, I still feel emotionally broken

I cannot speak, what I feel, anymore
Without my heart crashing to the floor

Because now, my greatest fear
Is living alone, with no one to hear

That same girl, crying inside of me
I do not allow, the others to see

The damage, that was done to me
When due to the words I had spoken, my family had abandoned me

So as of today
I limit what I say

I cannot relive the pain
From where they left me in pouring rain

I cannot rid of the stain
It will forever remain, in form of an emotional strain

I live in fear, so yes I may be a bit crazy
Writing poetry, is what saves me

That is true, but I must not speak
Because, yes I am weak

I am afraid, you will leave me behind
Just, for speaking what is on my mind