The dusty keyboard

Its been way too long, since I've typed manuscript,
I haven't had the chance to let my typing fingers dip.
I been getting things together, soon I'll show,
That my lack of social writings weren't lacked without no sign of growth...

I'm no longer living with someone, I'm paying my own bills,
Finally stepping over into the age of manhood, it's been a trying hill.
Sometimes I even feel like through it all I cannot deal,
Until a faint whisper in my ear assures me everything's cool.

Emotions override me due to my latest, and first heartbreak,
That surprise in my life really caused things to shake.
I was working for us, so we could have a place,
And when I finally achieve this goal I get mace to the face!
      It hurts.

I'm not ashamed to say that for this girl I did cry,
Sometimes I just ask myself why..
But I gotta stop being an emotional wreck, and go to work with a smile. :)
A smile that doesn't even feel real now that I'm going through this trial.

I found a piece of paper in the gas station pump that read; "You are not alone"
I put it in my pocket, looked through it in the car, and finished it before I got home.
It said that I shouldn't commit suicide, it told me don't fret,
It hurted to lose this girl, but not enough to let,
My own hands take me out of this world, I'm really not that brave,
Before I could even grab a knife the Holy Spirit would tell me to behave.

People think because I go to church that my life is just perfect.
That all my plans go as planned, and my long trips are worth it.
When in actuality my life is more challenging, people judge me all the time,
Because I don't do things the way they do, they cut me off like a vine.
But they really won't like what's coming next, those haters out there will die out,
Because I'm wiping the dust off my keyboard, and I'm gone let my fingers SHOUT!